May 9, 1981: “I feel no shame in considering the current futurist and gay-orientated releases a lot more exciting as disco records than much of the UK jazz-funk product.”

ODDS ‘N’ BODS

BENNY GOLSON ‘New Killer Joe’ / ‘Rap’ will be on 12in soon and The Quick ‘Zulu’ is finally due commercially next week . . . ‘Ain’t No Stopping – Disco Mix 1981’ has been picked up by Creole, with anonymous artistes renamed Enigma . . . Whispers ‘I Can Make It Better’ is now on US 12in (US Solar YD-12233) . . . Unlimited Touch’s whole LP let alone the ‘Searching’ 12in has surfaced in a few shops completely remixed . . . Webster Lewis ‘Let Me Be The One’ and Isley Brothers ‘Hurry Up And Wait’ are about on promo US 12in . . . Rick James’s LP is out here next week . . . Pete Haigh & Frenchie’s recent live promotion of Spiral Axis at Blackpool JR’s went so well that they’re after other North Western jazz-funk bands to appear there on Tuesdays – contact Pete (Cleveleys 824156) or Frenchie (Blackpool 694871) for bookings . . . Al Taylor at 26 Terence Avenue, Rhyl, Clwyd, has about 500 12in singles to sell, all at under £1.50, send an SAE for lists . . . Chris Jones at 167 Cathays Terrace, Cardiff, CF2 4HW, has compiled a guide for DJs to ballroom dancing gigs – a copy could be yours for a small donation . . . Rob Harknett (Harlow) reports that Czech jocks have to take exams before they can charge a (standard) fee – thus obviating the ‘cowboy’ problem – with passes necessary in a written paper, half hour radio and half hour disco programme, and (gulp!) a 20 minute talk on politics . . . Theo Loyla’s punters of a jazz-funk persuasion at his regular Bridge Country Club gig near Canterbury (he’s there this Saturday) have formed a tribe called the Canterbury Soul Saints, and were at Caister amongst other events – so that’s why ‘Dominoes’ is number 3 for Theo! . . . Tony Jenkins really has found a deluxe venue for Monday nights at Harrow Weald’s superb Middlexsex & Herts Country Club, which’ll be a must when the weather warms up so I hope the crowds keep coming . . . Staines Fusion Few were there on Tony’s opening night, handing out a sexist leaflet captioned “Here to shake ass”! . . . Robbie Vincent and Jeff Young’s sponsored all-night Easter dance marathon at Dartford Flicks raised around £1,200 for charity . . . Mick Davidson nowadays does Liverpool’s Maxwells Wine Bar/Pub on Fri/Saturday lunchtimes and Tues/Sunday evenings as well as his famous Hollywood residency on Thurs/Fri/Saturday nights . . . Jimmie Bell, whose odd Scottish chart you may remember, now partners Brian Young in the Nouveau Romantiques mobile based in Alloa, and while not costing anything like as much, they like me feature all types of music from the ’20s right up to date – which is the way to do it! . . . I feel no shame in considering the current futurist and gay-orientated releases a lot more exciting as disco records than much of the UK jazz-funk product (that word used deliberately), but I was in fact very disappointed by Landscape’s album (which doesn’t claim to be disco of course) . . . Gareth at Groove’s hot tip this week (which like last week’s they’ll be stocking soon) is the exciting disjointedly jazzy Companion ‘Living Up To Love‘ on a French Barclay LP produced by Boris Midney in brilliantly separated stereo (Futurists check the ‘This Is A Test‘ track too). While also dynamite to judge from a tape will be the Was (Not Was) album . . . David Hudson’s old ‘To You Honey With Love‘ LP (US Alston), initially somewhat ignored except by a few of us, has suddenly taken off like a rocket at Groove following general night-time play on Capital Radio . . . Chris Palmer has yet another new Mercedes, this one huge! . . . Sugar Minott’s surname, to answer queries, is pronounced Mynot . . . Mark Summers, mobile from Romford on 01-590 1825, synchs Strikers ‘Body Music’ over Whispers ‘Imagination’ break starting precisely over the last word in “on top of the world”, while Keith Barker-Main (Earls Court Graffiti) mixes from Carol Jiani’s second instrumental section into Nightlife Unlimited ‘Love Is In You (No.2)’ to the break, which overlaps into Frankie Valli ‘Soul’ from the start . . . Norman Scott (Soho Bang) sends a post card to say he’s been catching Diana Ross in Las Vegas and Cliff Richard in LA . . . I’m extremely grateful to all who contribute charts, so please note I’m not knocking Rush Release’s mailing list jocks for finding the material they service eminently usable, it’s just that it would be nice to hear from DJs who actually buy records too! . . . “It’s got to be about the vinyl” . . . HI DE HI!

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UK NEWIES

EVASIONS: ‘Wikka Rap’ (Groove Production GP107).
A fantastically good idea – cicadas and jet plane effects lead into an impersonation of Alan Whicker (who’s given permission) doing a typically phrased commentary about the “lingua franca of the funk business”, reeling off all the cliched disco lyric lines in his – I nearly said inimitable! – manner to a heavily thudding 121bpm 12in ‘Thighs High’ groove, with party chanting and spurts of “good times” vocal carrying on for a basically smacking instrumental continuation . . . However keep right on till the end as ”Alan” returns with the best line of all, “the Southern Freeez, is not a cold day in Bournemouth”! What a crossover monster this will be!

KID CREOLE & THE COCONUTS PRESENT COATI MUNDI: ‘Que Pasa/Me No Pop I’ (Ze 12WIP 6711).
Radio jocks love it as do all the disco DJs who have heard it in use, but this sensationally happy 110bpm 12in Latin conga kicker-cum-rapper from the fashionable Dr Buzzard spin-off has taken ages to finally break into the chart – and that seemingly due to charts from jocks who first heard it at Gullivers! Believe me, this incredibly infectious romp is smash-bound dynamite, so don’t be a slouch about it now it’s out here!

PAULETTE MILLER: ‘You Really Got A Hold On Me’ (Black Jack BJD45 010).
Gorgeous beautifully sung delicate spacious 76/38bpm 12in reggae smoocher with lovely little fills from brass or syndrum every now and then in between the beats. Do try and find it. 

PASSAGE: ‘Power’ (LP ‘Passage’ A&M AMLH 64851).
Brother Louis Johnson’s religiously worded set’s only real dancer is this cooled out ‘Stomp’-style bass-popped 119(intro)-121-120-121bpm pusher, but the gently pattering tensely building 105bpm ‘I See The Light‘ has had some attention too.

PROTON PLUS: ‘Pay Up’ (Image IMA 1).
Taking a while to wind up and then operating in the same disjointed choppy then flowing style as Freeez or Atmosfear (with whom it mixes), this slightly cerebral 0-130-129-128bpm 12in jitterer with remixed instrumental flip never really lets rip.

NOT JAMES PLAYER: ‘Friends Again (Remix)’ (Ultimate 12 – ULT 001).
Can you believe yet a third different mix? Now the ever accelerating 113-119bpm 12in cool instrumental jazz-funk thudder seems shorter, snappier and – the new vital ingredient – with a little bit of flute. Don’t get crushed in the stampede!

BANZAI: ‘Runaway’ (Groove Production GP 105T).
Now on proper as opposed to white label release in a new mix, this 118bpm 12in jazz-funk instrumental has been cleaned up, slowed down and somewhat emasculated – the original had such a ballsy beat that evidently many people found their copies jumped!

MICHAEL JACKSON: ‘One Day In Your Life’ (Motown TMG 976).
Harmonica-backed exquisitely pretty 0-20-40-41bpm 7in ballad from younger days, likely to be a pop smash.

DELROY WASHINGTON: ‘For Your Love’ (Ankh ANKH 1).
Catchy enough and quite creditable 0-130bpm variation of the Eddy Grant reggae style, evidently on 12in.

TAN TAN: ‘Theme From A Summer Place’ (Rough Trade RT 076).
Percy Faith’s evergreen given a pleasant muted trumpet-played 54/107bpm 12in instrumental reading.

CLOUD: ‘The Rio’ (Flashback FLASH 003).
Appallingly recorded string of solos that are OK in themselves held together by skittering hi-hats and distant brass on 130(intro)-128bpm 12in jazz-funk instrumental that sounds like it was made in the bathroom next door. The ‘Party Life’ vocal version being no better.

THE MEMBERS: ‘Everyday Is Just A Holiday’ (Albion 12 ION 1012).
Awfully amateurish 134bpm 12in bounder sounds like a 2-Tone group trying to go disco.

KRAFTWERK: ‘Pocket Calculator’ (EMI 12EMI 5175).
Dynamite precise sparse pure electronic unhurried 137bpm ticker with spoken lyrics and lotsa FX, evidently on 12in.

DEBRA DEJEAN: ‘Goosebumps’ (Handshake HANDS 2).
BA Robertson oldie sultrily spoken/sung on starkly thudding 107bpm 7in futurist chugger rightly getting US disco action in 12in form there.

TALKING HEADS: ‘Houses In Motion’ (Sire SIR 4050).
More great spoken/sung atmospheric jittery 102bpm weirdness, probably on 12in.

SCARLETT VON VOLLENMAN: ‘Hypnotised’ (RCA 50).
Another sultry chick spoken/sung great heavily compressed tense sparse 134-136bpm 7in throbber.

ULTRAVOX: ‘Passing Strangers’ (Chrysalis CHS 2457).
Richly resonant booming and phasing 140-137bpm 7in loper.

ALTERED IMAGES: ‘A Day’s Wait’ (Epic EPC A1167).
Suspense-filled comes-and-goes strange little 133-130bpm 7in throbber going nowhere quite interestingly.

MEDIUM MEDIUM: ‘Hungry, So Angry’ (Cherry Red CHERRY 18).
Purposeful bass-snapped tension-filled 124-125bpm 7in naggingly sung tripper, getting US disco attention.

DURAN DURAN: ‘Careless Memories’ (EMI 12 EMI 5168).
Frantically pounding headlong 162bpm futurist galloper, evidently on 12in.

TO KALON: ‘Coming To Get You’ (E.D.M. Champagne BUBLY 701).
Titchoner-produced minimalist 144bpm futurist tapper now on 12in via yet another Champagne label from DJM.

HARDING & BROWNE: ‘Working In A Coalmine’ (DJM XDJR 3).
Lee Dorsey’s soul oldie vocally sounds similar but is given an ambiguously fast 0-148bpm electronically burbling beat, on promo 12in if not commercially so.

PAULINE MURRAY & THE INVISIBLE GIRLS: ‘Animal Crazy’ (Illusive IVEX 3).
Synthetically burbling deadpan empty 128bpm futurist smacker on 3-track 10in flip, using Rinder & Lewis’s ‘Hand Jive’ riff.

JAPAN: ‘The Art Of Parties’ (Virgin VS 409 – 12).
Ferry-style whinnying vocal noises over a Bowie-esque complex jittery 113bpm 12in rhythm track.

EDDIE MAELOV & SUNSHINE PATTESON: ‘Lines’ (Human HUM 9).
Phone-dialling introed part French-sung 131bpm 7in Visage-style EDM by numbers.

CLASSIX NOUVEAUX: ‘Tokyo’ (Liberty BP 397).
Jerky 153bpm 7in basher, not very compatible.

KIM CARNES: ‘Bette Davis Eyes’ (EMI America EA 121).
Bonnie Tyler-style haunting 58-116-117bpm 7in croaker, hard to avoid on radio.

PAUL SHANE & THE YELLOWCOATS: ‘Hi-De-Hi (Holiday Rock)’ (EMI 5180).
Timely terrific holiday camp wake-up “hi de hi” and answering “ho de ho” intro but then it becomes a frantic rock ‘n’ roll 7in.

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IMPORTS

GINO SOCCIO: ‘Closer’ LP (Canadian Celebration CEL 2080).
An immediate sell out in all its forms in New York where Gino is disco’s god, this finely honed set should return him to past glories here too. Sounding very like a sparser and slower ‘Dancer’ with 113-114bpm “rapper” rhythm, and tootling trumpet building an hypnotic groove. ‘Try It Out’ will rival the tightly smacking 119bpm girlie group chanted ‘Hold Tight‘ for UK dancers but the killer is the beautiful slow atmospheric 35-36bpm title track instrumental with lovely jazzy guitar doodling through lush layers of washing synthesizer, while ‘Street Talk‘ is a synthetically pulsating 132bpm girlie group futurist sizzler, ‘(It’s Been) Too Long‘ a rock-slanted 127bpm cool guitar loper sung by himself and ‘Love Is‘ a nice little throwaway 117bpm chugger.

SUZY Q: ‘Get On Up And Do It Again’ (Canadian JC W-12080).
Surreptitiously slinky little 110-111-112bpm 12in bass bumper pares everything down to the basics and then builds a powerful jaunty groove by subtly copying bits from various “rapper” rhythm hits, the most blatant pinch being Young & Co’s ‘I Like’ vocal pattern at times.

PLAYERS ASSOCIATION: ‘Life Is Just A Song’ (LP ‘Let Your Body Go!’ US Vanguard VSD 79441).
Although their well-rounded excellent musicianship is everywhere presently, the vital spark of life sadly isn’t and the already reviewed 12in titles are the set’s best. Otherwise, the rest are probably headed by this racing lightweight harmony sung 128bpm bounder. ‘R&B-Bop-Pop‘ being a mildly jittery purposeful 110-109bpm plodder, ‘The Things You Get Me To Do‘ a snappy bass introed staccato boring 125bpm burbler and ‘Groovin’ on Home’ a sedately rolling slow 64bpm jogger.

KENI BURKE: ‘Let Somebody Love You’ (US RCA PD-12229).
Urgently chundering jauntily romping 120-121bpm 12in beefy basher wailed by a hoarse soulster – is he one of the Stairsteps / Invisible Man’s Band Burkes?

MOTHER (F): ‘Hot Wax’ (Canadian Matra W-12067).
Another dismissed in haste as a gay galloper, this vibrant synthetically pounding simple 126-127bpm pop disco instrumental has a good percussion break, zappy effects and swirling strings over an ‘Underwater’ type arrangement.

HARLOW: ‘Take Off’ (Canadian Quantum RSA 80003).
Originally more repetitive on LP but now remixed for 12in, this zingy 129bpm pounder despite some strong instrumentation and effects is still determinedly gay thanks to its disco chix.

STEPHANIE MILLS, Thelma Houston, Esther Williams, Grace Jones are amongst other strong sets now about and which I have for review, but unfortunately Bank Holiday deadlines have caught up with me, Sorry!

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UK Disco Top 90 – May 9, 1981

01 01 It’s A Love Thing – Whispers – Solar 12”
02 02 Linx – Intuition – Chrysalis 12”
03 04 Freeez – Flying High / Remix – Beggars Banquet 12”
04 03 Light Of The World – Time (Remix) – Mercury 12”
05 06 Jacksons – Can You Feel It – Epic 12”
06 05 Shalamar – Make That Move – Solar 12”
07 10 Sugar Minott – Good Thing Going – RCA 12”
08 08 Carol Jiani – Nit ‘N’ Run Lover – Champagne 12”
09 13 Level 42 – Love Games – Polydor 12”
10 09 Gap Band – Humpin’ – Mercury 12”
11 18 Quincy Jones – Ai No Corrida – A&M 12”
12 15 Quincy Jones – Razzamatazz / The Dude / Betcha Wouldn’t Hurt Me / Turn On The Action / Somethin’ Special – A&M LP
13 12 Heatwave – Jitterbuggin’ – GTO 12”
14 11 Kleeer – Get Tough / De Kleeer Ting – US Atlantic LP
15 07 Sharon Redd – Can You Handle It – Epic 12”
16 27 Thelma Houston – If You Feel It – US RCA 12”
17 14 Alphonze Mouzon – By All Means / Do I Have To? – Excaliber 12”
18 16 Freeez – Southern Freeez / Version – Beggars Banquet 12”
19 29 Starsound – Stars On 45 – CBS 12”
20 22 Leprechaun – Loc-It-Up – Excaliber 12”
21 17 Webster Lewis – Let Me Be The One / El Bobo / Kemo-Kimo / ‘Bout The Love / You Are My Life / Flying High – US Epic LP
22 19 Incognito – Shine On / Sunburn / Chase The Clouds Away / Interference – Ensign LP
23 20 Firefly – Love (Is Gonna Be On Your Side) – Excaliber 12”
24 25 Spandau Ballet – Glow / Muscle Bound – Reformation 12”
25 24 Landscape – Einstein A Go-Go / Japan – RCA 12”
26 26 Eddy Grant – Can’t Get Enough Of You – Ensign 12”
27 30 Rick James – Give It To Me Baby – Motown 12”/US promo remix
28 33 Jeff Lorber Fusion – Spur Of The Moment / Monster Man / Magic Lady – Arista 12”
29 28 Strikers – Body Music – US Prelude 12”
30 34 Dave Pike – Swan Lake / Spirit’s Samba – US Muse LP
31 23 Stevie Wonder – Lately – Motown
32 53 The Clash – The Magnificent Dance / The Magnificent Seven – CBS 12”
33 38 Champaign – How ‘Bout Us – CBS 12”
34 32 Sister Sledge – All American Girls – Atlantic 12”
35 43 Unlimited Touch – Searching To Find The One / Carry On – US Prelude LP
36 39 Imagination – Body Talk – R&B 12”
37 35 Bernard Wright – Just Chillin’ Out / Bread Sandwiches / Firebolt Hustle / Master Rocker – Arista GRP LP
38 21 Beggar & Co – (Somebody) Help Me Out – Ensign 12”
39 50 Jay Hoggard – Reverend Libra – US Contemporary LP
40 37 Fuse One – Grand Prix / Double Steal – CTI 12”
41 41 Revelation – Feel It – Handshake 12”
42 42 Jerry Knight – Perfect Fit – A&M LP
43 36 Funk Masters / Powerline / Inversions / Not James Player / Rah Band – Love Money / Double Journey / Mr Mack / Friends Again / Slide (Remixes) – Champagne LP
44 31 Kool & The Gang – Jones Vs Jones – De-Lite 12”
45 52 Burundi Black – Burundi Black – Barclay 12”
46 54 Harvey Mason – How Does It Feel / We Can Start Tonight / Going Through The Motions / On And On / Don’t Doubt My Lovin’ / Spell – Arista LP
47 75 Esther Williams – I’ll Be Your Pleasure – US RCA 12”
48 46 Enigma – Ain’t No Stopping – Disco Mix 1981 – Skratch 12”
49 45 Raydio – Still In The Groove / It’s Your Night / A Woman Needs Love / Old Pro / So Into You – Arista LP
50 40 Dynasty – Groove Control – Solar 12”
51 55 Mystic Touch – Get Yourself Together – Champagne 12”
52 56 The Quick – Zulu – Epic 12” promo
53 63 Mel Sheppard – Can I Take You Home – US TSOB 12”
54 68 Bobby Thurston – Is Something Wrong With You / Main Attraction / Keep It Going / Very Last Drop – US Prelude LP
55 71 Midas Touch – Too Much Too Soon – Maaw 12”
56 47 Shakatak – Living In The UK – Polydor 12”
57 76 Atmosfear – Free Tonight / Interplay / Invasion / Duende / Return Of LB / Funk The Rock – MCA LP
58 NE Players Association – Get On Up Now / Let Your Body Go – US Vanguard 12”
59 79 Stevie Wonder – Happy Birthday – Motown LP/12” promo
60 44 Scratsch Band – Your Place Or Mine? (Instrumental) – Groove/EMI 12”
61 64 Various – Bits & Pieces III – Canadian Special Disco Mixer 12”
62 65 Aurra – Nasty Disposition / Keep Doin’ It – US Salsoul LP
63 58 Sun – Jammin’ In Brazil / Reaction Satisfaction / On My Radio – US Capitol LP
64 62 Benny Golson / Johnny Harris / Hubert Laws / Stanley Clarke / Herbie Hancock (‘Bitter Suite’) – The New Killer Joe (Rap) / Odyssey / Family / Together Again / Just Around The Corner – CBS LP
65 81 Rah Band – Downside Up – DJM 12”
66 61 Whispers – Imagination / I Can Make It Better – Solar LP
67 87 Jack McDuff – Say Sumpin’ Nice / Kisses / Nasty / Primavera – US Sugarhill LP
68 66 Adrian Baker – High Time – Polo 12”
69 67 Duran Duran – Planet Earth (Night Version) – EMI 12”
70 NE L.A.X. – Possessed (Remix) – US Prelude 12”
71 57 Teddy Pendergrass – The Whole Town’s Laughing At Me / Love T.K.O. – Phil Int 12” promo
72 85 Eastside Connection – You’re So Right For Me – US Rampart 12”
73 88 Shock – Angel Face / R.E.R.B. – RCA 12”
74 86 Harris Simon Group – Wind Chant – Japanese Overseas LP
75 NE Victor Feldman – Skippin’ / In My Pocket – US Cohearant Sound LP
76 60 Chi-Lites – Have You Seen Her? – 20th Century-Fox 12”
77 49 Isley Brothers – Tonight Is The Night – Epic/LP
78 NE People’s Choice – Hey Everybody (Party Hearty) – US West End 12”
79 NE Heath Bros – Use It (Don’t Abuse It) / Dreamin’ – US Columbia LP
80 NE Rick James – Ghetto Life / Fire And Desire – US Gordy LP
81 NE Tata Vega – Love Your Neighbor – Motown 12”
82 84 Jerome – It’s Mine And You Don’t Own It – DJM 12”
83 NE Bert Ligon – Saturday / The Unicorn – US Inner City LP
84 NE Coati Mundi – Que Pasa/Me No Pop I – US Antilles 12”
85 NE Eighties Ladies – Turned On To You – US Uno Melodic 12”
86 74 General Caine II – L.R.J. Pop / Shake / Get Down Attack / Jungle Music – US Groove Time LP
87 NE Harding & Browne – Working In A Coalmine – DJM 12” promo
88 NE Vera – Take Me To The Bridge – Canadian Rio 12”
89 RE Jeff Lorber Fusion – Galaxian / Bright Sky – US Arista LP
90 NE Soft Cell – Memorabilia – Some Bizzare 12”

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BREAKERS

BUBBLING UNDER the UK Disco 90 with increased support are:

Aretha Franklin: ‘I Can’t Turn You Loose’ / ‘United Together’ (Arista 12in)
Heaven & Earth: ‘I Really Love You’ / ‘Kick It Out’ (US WMOT LP)
David Bendeth: ‘Just De Mix’ (Ensign 12in)
Tantra: ‘Hills Of Katmandu’ / ‘Mother Africa’ (US Importe/12” LP).
Aurra: ‘Are You Single’ (US Salsoul 12in)
Ronnie Jones: ‘Video Games’ (US Polydor 12in)
Kellis Ethridge: ‘Quickie Nirvana’ (US Inner City LP)
Lamont Dozier: ‘Going Back To My Roots’ (Warner Bros 12in/LP)
Gino Soccio: ‘Try It Out’ / ‘Hold Tight’ / ‘Closer’ (Canadian Celebration LP)
Space: ‘Tender Force’ (PRT 12in).
Marvin Gaye: ‘Heavy Love Affair’ (Motown LP)
Isley Brothers: ‘Hurry Up And Wait’ / ‘Young Girls’ (Epic LP)
Love Symphony Orchestra: ‘Let Me Be Your Fantasy’ (Miracle LP)
Linx: ‘Wonder What You’re Doing Now’ / ‘Throw Away The Key’ / ‘I Won’t Forget’ (Chrysalis LP)
Touchdown: ‘Ease Your Mind’ (Record Shack 12in)
Stephanie Mills / Teddy Pendergrass: ‘Two Hearts’ (20th Century-Fox 12in)
Kat Mandu: ‘The Break (Remix)’ (Canadian Unidisc 12in)
Dee Dee Sharp Gamble: ‘Breaking And Entering’ (US Phil Int LP)
Times Square: ‘You’re Hot’ (US New York City Records 12in)
Skip Mahoney: ‘Janice’ (Underworld 12in)
Project: ‘Love Rescue’ (Creole 12in)
Candido: ‘Jingo’ (Salsoul 12in/LP)
Shalamar: ‘Full Of Fire’ / ‘Work It Out’ / ‘Some Things Never Change’ / ‘This Is For The Lover In You’ (Solar LP)
Master Dub Band: ‘For The Love Of Money’ (Good City 12in)
(New York) Skyy: ‘Superlove’ / ‘Take It Easy’ (Excaliber 12in)
Suzy Q: ‘Get On Up And Do It Again’ (Canadian JC 12in)
Japan: ‘Life In Tokyo’ (Hansa 12in)
Leon Bryant: ‘Something More’ (US De-Lite LP)
Watson Beasley: ‘Breakaway’ (Creole 12in)

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DORC (Disco Featured Pop Hits)

1(1) Shakin’ Stevens ‘House’, 2(2) Bucks Fizz, 3(-) Adam ‘Stand’, 4(4) Adam ‘Kings’, 5(3) Kim Wilde, 6(5) Visage, 7(7) Liquid Gold, 8(6) Nolans, 9(11) Adam ‘Antmusic’, 10(12) Ennio Morricone, 11(10) Coast To Coast, 12(9) Hazel O’Connor, 13(15) Dave Stewart, 14(-) Graham Bonnett, 15(23) Bad Manners, 16(14) Kiki Dee, 17(17) Toyah, 18(8) Roxy Music, 19(25) Heaven 17, 20(13) Duran Duran, 21(16) Keith Marshall, 22(7) Phil Collins, 23(22) Bill Haley, 24(20) Talking Heads, 25(18) Kelly Marie, 26(26) Bauhaus, 27(19) Teardrop Explodes ‘Reward’, 28(-) Polecats, 29(-) Dire Straits, 30(-) Depeche Mode.

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HIT NUMBERS

Beats Per Minute for last week’s Pop Chart entries on 7in are:
Shakin’ Stevens 122f, Sheena Easton 0-29-0r, Thin Lizzy ‘Ready’ 0-180-0r, Human League 146f, Teardrop Explodes 141-144f, Undertones 111/222r, Shadows 83f, Psychedelic Furs 74f, Juice Newton 0-37-39f.

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DJ TOP TEN

JOHN MAYOH can now be found jocking at Rochdale Tiffanys, where he and his wife regularly kick off Saturday nights with an opening routine, be it comedy (Bucks Fizz – remove skirt, reveal frenchies and suspenders), a blue version of Andy Pandy, or more of a visual spectacle (laser lite stix and robots). They’ve also introduced Rochdale to silly string and custard pie foam, which seem quite popular! Anyway, it’s John’s Under-16s Monday sessions that concern us here, as this (with comments) is the Under-16s chart, revealing only a part of the fun that they get up to.

1. Uptown Festival – Shalamar – Soul Train 12in promo (everyone dancing in formation)
2. Sock It To ‘Em JB – Rex Garvin – Atlantic (they call it Northern Soul)
3. It’s A Love Thing – Whispers – Solar 12in
4. Make That Move – Shalamar – Solar 12in
5. Making Your Mind Up – Bucks Fizz – RCA (team contest with ’em all whipping their skirts off)
6. Do The Hucklebuck – Coast To Coast – Polydor (another formation dance)
7. Can’t Get Enough Of You – Eddy Grant – Ensign
8. Turn The Beat Around – Vicki Sue Robinson – RCA (more Northern Soul)
9. Greased Lightening – John Travolta – RSO (just like watching the film)
10. Shame – Evelyn Champagne King – RCA 12in (she’s their age, huh? (Ed))

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ELECTRO-DISCO

PAUL MALLON, who lives in Bath but plays futurist Fridays and Saturdays at Halifax Tiffanys, is a concerned young EDM fan. He writes, “I must express my worry about the future of futurist music. The threat comes not from record companies flooding the market with product, good, bad or indifferent, as it’s still up to the punter what he buys, but from futurist DJs battling to be the equivalent of the funk mafia and a first on a rare record. The so-called futurist jocks ought in my-eyes to be entertainers first and foremost, and not spending their time sending charts all over the place filled with records which are only played because either nobody else has got them or they are so weird / uncommercial nobody will get them anyway. Charts full of promos aren’t any use either as they’ll be unavailable to other people and only constitute an ego-trip for the DJ. This is just letting the movement slide into the kind of one-upmanship phase jazz-funk was locked into about two years ago, with only brand new material being played and all the good stuff ignored after it’d been out a month. Let’s be sensible about this music and not get into the situation of buying £11 LPs and £4 singles just to be first. Keep it on a realistic level – get your trips from entertaining your punters and not from hyping the music up. We don’t need charts containing 18 out of 20 records that nobody wants, there is enough good stuff about without just compiling a list of what’s going to be released and calling that a chart.” Hmm. I’ve a pretty shrewd idea of the particular chart you’ve got in mind, Paul – a load of Bollocks, eh? On the other hand, what if those promos and obscurities just happen to be bloody dynamite and packing the floor even if other people can’t buy them? Unlike some other publications, Record Mirror (this page at any rate) has never encouraged ego-trip charts simply by not printing charts of that nature. Nobody will ever know how ultra-hip an individual DJ is from their regular contributions, which go towards making up the overall chart, while those charts that are selected for publication are chosen to illustrate an interesting point as like as not. For instance, this week I consider that veteran Sheffield jock JIM KERSHAW is exhibiting a commendable range of material in this, his chart which follows:

01. Planet Earth (Night Version) – Duran Duran – EMI 12in
02. Video Games – Ronnie Jones – US Polydor 12in
03. Memorabilia – Soft Cell – Some Bizzare 12in
04. Dreaming Of Me – Depeche Mode – Mute
05. Tender Force / Robbots – Space – PRT 12in
06. Beat The Clock – Sparks – Virgin 12in
07. A Whiter Shade Of Pale – Munich Machine / Chris Bennett – Oasis 12in
08. We Live For Love – Pat Benatar – Chrysalis 12in
09. Glow – Spandau Ballet – Reformation 12in
10. Celebrate – Simple Minds – Arista 12in
11. The Model – Kraftwerk – Capitol 12in
12. Is Vic There? – Department S – Demon
13. Life In Tokyo – Japan – Hansa 12in
14. Up The Hill Backwards – David Bowie – RCA
15. Fever – Modern Romance – WEA 12in
16. Angel Face / R.E.R.B. – Shock – RCA 12in
17. Magic Fly / Save Your Love For Me – Space – Pye Int 12in
18. Liquidator – Harry J All Stars – Trojan 12in
19. Evolution – Giorgio Moroder – Casablanca LP
20. (We Don’t Need This) Fascist Groove Thang – Heaven 17 – BEF 12in

Jim incidentally is an incurable vinyl junkie from way back (just like me!) and says it’s the most expensive – and expansive – habit to feed of them all. Last year he even added an extension to his house to hold his incredible collection of almost 230,000 records and tapes . . . that’s about 100,000 more than me, and everyone always thinks that I’ve got a lot! Anyway, apropos of Ashley Woods recent announcement of a huge sale of lovingly collected soul / jazz / funk gems, Jim adds that he’s never sold, swapped or auctioned any of the tools of his trade. Ashley probably needs the bread, but I agree anyone who sells their records always regrets it in the long run. Finally, news of some newies to add to your collections soon. Brian Eno & David Byrne’s ‘The Jezebel Spirit’ and Landscape’s ‘Norman Bates’ have both been remixed for imminent 12in release.

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RECORD SHACK . . . GOSSIP FROM THE SHACK

Editors Note: Continuing their war of words with James, this week they say….

“Well, after the riot caused by last weeks Gossip and may I add, 95% do agree with me, let’s settle down to a bit of Jazz Funk (there’s got to be some on this page!). Times Square and Vogue are the strongest 12”s I’ve heard in ages and the Players Association LP sticks out in front of all those RCA releases. Quick question about the RM charts. If T.S. Monk was No.1 in the National Top 75, would a WEA record then get into the UK Disco chart in this paper?”